I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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