For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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