Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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