My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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