Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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