I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
