But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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