never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
