I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
