We named our party play list daddy issues
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
