yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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