First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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