If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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