He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
