He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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