Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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