i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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