how can u be prego again
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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