She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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