I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
