her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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