Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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