Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
