Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Randomize
