the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
