Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
