whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
