I hope mine doesn't look like that
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
