Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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