I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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