So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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