And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
