HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
