Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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