You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize