I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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