We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
