if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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