It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
