their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
