he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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