I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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