thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
