I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I understand Curling. That high.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize