Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
