I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
