every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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