you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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