Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
