the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
