I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
