we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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