is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
