Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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