Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
