I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
