what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Someone came in the potted fern
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
