He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
