apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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