5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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