I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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