sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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